Sleeping with ghosts
by zralak
Summary: How it all started? Oh sure. In every generation… We all know that story. Buffy, the slayer. Buffy, the smitten slayer. Buffy, the unhappy slayer. Yaddy yaddy yadda. Buffy, the dead slayer.


Soulmates never die. That's exactly what the singer sings in one song. I don't ever remember which one. Or, I do, but the advertisement in the show is forbidden right? Show... You are right. Everything was one big show. Buffy and Angel. Not Willow and Tara, Xander and Anya, Angel and Darla, Angel and Cordy, Fred and Wesley, Buffy and Riley, Buffy and Spike, Giles and Jenny or Spike and Druscilla. Even though all their stories are sad and unforgettable, they didn't play the prim. No. All this freak show was about us. Buffy and Angel. Others often forget that. They push us to the relationships without a possibility of escape and we let them, because... what else should we do? Once upon a time we had dreams. Dreams that were shattered to zillion pieces until dust was everything what remained. There was nothing more than...

.... Blood. Sweet traces of blood were pouring down my chin and several drops soaked in to my black T-shirt. They were nor first nor last. Who cares? I could have bleed to death and no one would notice. I closed my eyes and slowly licked my upper lip. God, I shook with disgust. The blood certainly wasn't just mine. I tried to spit everything I could, but couldn't stop thinking about to which creatures I killed tonight the liquid belonged. Blood, blood, blood, blood...

„_Love __isn't brains, children, it´s blood..."_

„_Find it. The darkness. Find your nature."_

„_Look, it's blood. It's Summers blood.__"_

Yeah Dawnie, blood. The source of our being. The wind brought mix of several unidentified smells. I'm trying to recognize few of them. Hm... Asian cuisine. Sure, there're two fast foods round the corner. Now I've got, why you can't see any dogs or cats in the neighborhood.

One end of the alley ends with the brick wall. Not high enough for me to be able to jump over it. I turned my head to the other end of the dirty alley. There they were. Silhouettes, slowly surfacing from the foggy smoke. Their weapons were clearly visible. Other demons for killing spree. I don't want to wait. I've been waiting for this night for whole year, so why just stand here and let myself become a prey instead of the predator. I run to them in full speed. Sometimes, there was crack below my combat boots or you know...the slimy sound, when you crush an entrails. Adrenalin raced up in my blood and I reached for Angel's axe in fatal blow.

First head on the ground, another couple hundreds waiting. I stormed into the center of eager crowd of demons. Their claws and spines scratched my skin, I was sure I felt another rib broken, the blood from my eyebrow started to flow again and the line of awaiting demons was still so long. I loved every second of it. Mostly the wheeee sound, when I swung with my right hand and the unfortunate vampire disintegrated to dust. I turned on my tiptoe with force of the blow, which wasn't that huge problem on the ground covered with slime, I kicked out with my left leg and randomly caught with my left hand whatever I could cause harm to. Jerk. Scream. I hit one of the green, horned demons, who fell to the little crowd of standing nearby creatures. I got several second, when I could discover whatever I ripped away from the I-can't-even-describe-it-how-ugly-it-looks. My left hand was covered in purple slime and the same liquid run out from its ear or maybe it was a nose... Could I rip piece of... eeeeeeew... that's disgusting. I shuddered and tried to throw away as much as I could... sticky. It made a smack when hitting a ground. I tried to wipe off the mass into my pants but to no avail. I didn't even have a time to find a tissue when I felt really hard blow to the nape of my neck and I fell on my knees. First rule in the slayer handbook. Never turn your back to your enemy. New waves of hatred and rage started to tingle in the tips of my fingers, when I started to stand on my now steady legs. Fingers, palms, tighten muscles, head held high, stand up. All of them were taller than me. The fury and madness inside me swallowed all of theirs advantages. I start smile, sadistically. And I really hope that Angelus is watching me from deepest pits of hell. He'd be very proud. The first line starts to retreat which was pretty uneasy with mass of creatures trying to get closer. I saw flick of fear in their eyes. That's good. Let them be frightened. Because then, everything will taste much sweeter. Everything including my revenge.

Drops of blood run spontaneously down my chin. Cliché. So sue me. I have to make it more dramatic. Besides, you have no idea how many books I've read during the empty decades. Giles would be happy as a cucumber (don't ask me where I gained this expression). My cheek, darkening with gray-blue bruises, my lower lip stinging and bleeding and welts decorating my chin like rainbow colored Christmas tree. Okaaay. I'll stop exaggerating. I'm fine. Nothing that would kill me. Now should come the HA HA part. Kill. I'm immortal, you know. There are only few pellets left from the purple slime that are slowly falling off my pants but the dark stain won't go down. They really should make washing powder for this. Who cares about mixed ketchup and eggs...

„_You think they make a patch for this?"_

The sudden memory kicked me off balance.

„Leave me alone!" I shouted and tried to hit an imaginary enemy with Angel's axe and tried to stop whoever was so violently putting the images into my head. I have to calm down. I have to think about something positive, Buff.

„_T__here's so much, that I want to show you."_

Happy memories, right. My fingers finally stop shaking. Regarding the silver moon, happily swaying on the dark sky, I'd say, there's still a couple of hours until the dawn.

„_A Minute? No, no, it's not enough time."_

„Stop!" I couldn't force out more than choked whisper. Angel's axe and bronzed Mr. Pointy fell with clink on the hard, wet ground. I had to hold my head with fingers and press so hard, that I thought I´d have to crush it. It hurt so bad... oh God I think I'll black out. The force of the pain pushed me down onto my knees. Blinding pain started to consume me from inside and I have no idea, what kind of will prevent me from throwing my guts out. One memory after another was flowing in front of my eyes and I couldn't stop them. I kneeled and and rocked back and forward again and again and again.

„Enough. Please stop, stop, stop. ENOUGH!!!" All of a sudden everything stopped, all thoughts flew away and finally, I could peacefully close my eyes. It's over. Well, it went okay this year. Not the way I wanted, but hey. It never ends the way I want. Invisible rain drops kept falling with grayish morning fog and swallowed up whole city. First rays are slowly creeping towards me and it will take only few minutes until they devour the entire sky. Another wasted chance. 365 days and nights of hope, that I will make it this time. And I failed again. Are you asking, what I lost? And why today? Well, that's easy. Today it's exactly ninety-nine years, since I've killed Angel for the second time.


End file.
